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A Time to Weep
A Time to Weep
The Torah relates that when Yosef revealed his identity to Binyamin, they embraced one another and wept. According to Rashi, they cried because they each prophetically foresaw the destruction that would take place on the other's territory in the Land of Israel. Yosef wept for the two Batei Mikdash, the First and SecondHoly Temples, which would stand in Binyamin's territory, but would be destroyed, and Binyamin wept for the Mishkan that would be erected in Yosef's territory, in Shiloh, but would ultimately be destroyed.
Strangely, Rashi implies they each cried only in anticipation of what would befall the other, but not for the misfortune that would befall their own territory. This is because inasmuch as tears are a natural expression of pain, the benefit of crying really depends on what—or whom—is the source of your sorrow.
By and large, crying is only a coping mechanism. It may alleviate some of your pain or sorrow, but it obviously does not correct the issue causing you grief. (The exception is tears of teshuvah, repentance, expressing one's heartfelt remorse for his misdeeds, which are themselves a part of his rehabilitation.)
Now, the knowledge that your fellow is bringing spiritual ruin upon himself should certainly make you upset. Nevertheless, in the end, only he can stop that destruction from happening. So if you have prayed for him and attempted to lead him to the right path but have been unsuccessful, his impending ruin should bring you to tears. For the pain of such devastation is great, and there is nothing you can do to stop it.
Conversely, when you become aware that you are bringing ruin upon yourself, the correct response is not to alleviate the pain of your unfortunate state through tears, but actually to do something about it! In fact, crying can distract you from addressing the issue, as you may console yourself that your painful awareness of the problem is already significant…
Accordingly, Yosef and Binyamin each cried not for the Temple that would be destroyed his own territory—and the spiritual decline that would cause that destruction, but for the misfortunes that would befall the other. For over their own issues, to cry would entirely miss the point.
—Likkutei Sichos, vol. 10, pp. 148-149
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