Anger Management

"Regarding your trait of moodiness and anger.

You should ask your teachers to explain to you, at length, the idea of Hashgacha Pratis, which is one of the foundations of our faith. Its general meaning is that the One who created and runs the world watches with specific attention over every detail of your life, i.e., at every moment you are found under the Creator's watch, Who is looking at all your actions, and when you contemplate this idea multiple times until it becomes engraved in your memory, it will certainly affect you, to weaken your moodiness and anger, etc.

You should also fulfill the commandment according to the code of Jewish law, that somebody who you've insulted, even out of anger, you must ask him for complete forgiveness. Now since asking forgiveness is hard for a person, and you will nevertheless overcome this difficulty and ask forgiveness, every time that you are about to become agitated, you will certainly remember, that afterwards you will have to work on yourself to ask for forgiveness. This will also help you to weaken the trait of moodiness, etc.

To have the addition of G‑d's blessing for this, you should influence your friends in the area of Ahavas Yisroel and bringing one friend closer to the other, and then with G‑d's way which is to repay 'measure for measure,' many times over, the one who puts forth effort is helped additionally from Above.

With blessing for good news in all that was mentioned."

On behalf of the Rebbe,

Secretary

Anger Management

With regard to your traits of anger and rage:





Ask your teachers to thoroughly explain to you the concept of individual Divine providence, which is a foubdation of our faith.

The general substance of this concept is:

The Creator and Conductor of the world oversees with individual providence each and every detail of your life, that is to say, you are constantly under G‑d’s supervision and He observes all your actions.

When you will ponder this matter many times until it is ingrained in your memory, this will surely diminish your temper and anger.

You should also perform that which the Shulchan Aruch commands, that when one offends another individual, even when done in a fit of anger, he is to beg his complete forgiveness.

It is difficult to ask forgiveness from another [after having caused them offense]. When you force yourself to overcome your [natural] reluctance [to ask forgiveness] and make sure to do so [as directed in the Shulchan Aruch], then every time you are about to become angry you will surely remember that afterwards you will have to ask that person’s forgiveness.

This, too, will assist you in diminishing your character trait of anger and the like.

(Igros Kodesh, Vol. XVIII, p. 169)