Anger Management

With regard to your traits of anger and rage:





Ask your teachers to thoroughly explain to you the concept of individual Divine providence, which is a foubdation of our faith.

The general substance of this concept is:

The Creator and Conductor of the world oversees with individual providence each and every detail of your life, that is to say, you are constantly under G‑d’s supervision and He observes all your actions.

When you will ponder this matter many times until it is ingrained in your memory, this will surely diminish your temper and anger.

You should also perform that which the Shulchan Aruch commands, that when one offends another individual, even when done in a fit of anger, he is to beg his complete forgiveness.

It is difficult to ask forgiveness from another [after having caused them offense]. When you force yourself to overcome your [natural] reluctance [to ask forgiveness] and make sure to do so [as directed in the Shulchan Aruch], then every time you are about to become angry you will surely remember that afterwards you will have to ask that person’s forgiveness.

This, too, will assist you in diminishing your character trait of anger and the like.

(Igros Kodesh, Vol. XVIII, p. 169)

Trust in G-d

"Jewish men and women are generally “believers, sons of believers,” that is to say, they all believe and also comprehend that G‑d alone conducts the entire world. Jews also believe with perfect faith that G‑d is the Essence of Goodness.

You surely heard as well the saying of my father-in-law, the Rebbe, of blessed memory, in the name of the Baal Shem Tov, that G‑d loves every Jewish man and woman as a father loves an only child. (In fact, He loves them even more than that; this analogy is used because we cannot imagine a greater love than that of a parent to an only child.)

The upshot of all the above [is this]: that all that G‑d does is for the good; [and] since G‑d desires that things be good for Jews not only spiritually but materially as well, surely His goodness extends not only to the realm of the spiritual, but also to the realm of the material.

As mentioned before, Jews not only believe the above but understand this rationally as well. It sometimes happens, however, that while this is believed and understood by the person, unfortunately this belief and understanding does not seep into the person’s heart and emotions. The result of this is that certain [untoward] events cause him to feel heartbroken and despondent, G‑d forbid.

.. When, however, a person works on himself, endeavoring to have his belief and understanding filter down into his emotions, this results in the realization and feeling that “All that G‑d does, He does for the good” — indeed, it cannot possibly not be so. This enables the individual to eventually be able to perceive and feel that matters are overtly and obviously good.

For since G‑d rewards the individual in kind, “measure for measure,” this attitude engenders G‑d’s revealing to all, and particularly to that individual himself, the goodness that lies concealed in the [seemingly unpleasant event] so that it may be perceived [for the good it truly is] even with the naked eye.

.. I extend to you my prayerful wishes that very soon G‑d should demonstrate to you the complete goodness that transpired in the past events in your life and which you have failed to see until now, and that you be truly joyful in all aspects, both spiritual and material."

(Igros Kodesh, Vol. IV, p. 220)

Jewish and Chassidic dates and world events

In his address during the weekly portion Toldot in 5750 (1989), the Lubavitcher Rebbe, King Moshiach explained  that the spreading of Judaism and Chassidism in the world had led to the big changes that took place around that time (and continue happening with even more strength now). The Rebbe sited as an example the revolutions and overthrow of governments happening in various countries as well as natural disasters (earthquakes, etc.)

Chassidus explains that any action directed to spread Torah and Chassidic teachings brings light and holiness to the world and cleanses everything that can be cleansed and rectifies whatever is rectifiable.

It’s interesting to note the relationship of such events with important Jewish dates and Chassidic holidays, reason being that on those days there is an intense light emanating from the realm of holiness (Tanya, ch. 28).

Death of Stalin – March 5, 1953  (Purim)

Start of the collapse of the USSR – March 11, 1990  (Purim)

President Bush declares victory in Iraq – Purim 1991

Capture of Saddam Hussein – December 13, 2003   (19^th of Kislev)

Saddam Hussein’s execution – December 30, 2006  (10^th of Teves)

Government overthrow in Tunis (beginning of the Arab Spring) – January 14, 2011 (10^th of Shevat)

The fall of Egypt’s Mubarak – February 11^th, 2011 (7^th of Adar I)

Terrorist Imad Mugnia killed – February 12, 2008 (7^th of Adar I)

Osama Bin Laden killed – May 2, 2011 (28^th of Nissan)

The U.S. officially ended the war in Iraq, December 15, 2011 (19^th of Kislev)

Electoral college confirms Trump’s victory – December 19, 2016   (19^th of Kislev)

President Trump declares Jerusalem as the capital –December 6, 2017 (19^th of Kislev)

President Trump commutes Sholom Rubaashkin’s sentence – December 20, 2017 (Last day of Chanukah)

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FREE CHOICE—TO WHAT EXTENT?

Rabbi Yeheskel Lebovic G-D’S FREE CHOICE In chapter Re’eh, we find the expression “the place which G-d will choose”—referring usually to the Holy Temple is mentioned 9 times! Why did G-d choose Jerusalem and the Temple site? The answer is that G-d has the absolute power of free choice and no reasons need to be given.  If there were any compelling reason to explain His choice, it would not be totally free choice. To some extent, G-d likewise granted man the ability of free choice. However man’s free choice is not as free as it seems to be.  If it were total indeed, it would explain the fact that we periodically reach life junctures when we stop to take stockcand we ask ourselves whether this or that decision of the past has been a good one. "Should I have rather have opted this way” , "I wish I would have had more foresight and acted differently",  "what would have happened if I would have done this, moved there, had married this one, had taken that job position etc." Some are consumed by self-doubt and self-recriminaiton in this process.  We are likewise tempted to project such questions in the historical arena, wondering what would have happened if a political decision different from the one actually taken would have been decided upon. We also project into the future: who will be the next president and how will the nation’s choice of him/her affect the course of this nation? APPLICABLE ONLY WITH FREEDOM OF CHOICE These types of questions can be raised only when decisions we make operate within a framework of total free choice.  In cases, however, in which what one individual or nation decides and does is governed by Divine Providence, such questions have no place.  Rather, in such cases, one accepts his lot in acknowledgment of a higher Divine Plan at work. According to the Baal Shem Tov, Hashgacha Protis (Divine or Detailed Providence) is very extensive, not only in humans, but even in animals, plants and inanimate objects, down to the most minute details of Creation, all fitting within the gigantic jigsaw puzzle of Creation as only G-d knows it.  The areas in which there is freedom of choice for man to do and decide as he pleases occur only when the choice we make relates directly to good or evil: if one chooses  to do a good action, say a kind word etc... or refrain from a prohibited act etc.., he has chosen good; if he chooses to act otherwise, he has chosen evil.  This is expressed by the Rambam (Hilchos Tshuva 5:4) thusly: "In the same way that the Creator desires that (the nature of) fire and wind is to rise upwards .... and so likewise (the nature of) all creatures of the world to conduct themselves in the manner that He desires, likewise G-d desires that man should act within his own purvey and that all his actions be given over to him (in his ability to choose freely). THE BOMBSHELL QUESTION  However, a contradiction can be raised from another statement of the Rambam in his Thirteen Principles of Faith, where he states (principle 5):  "One ought not to serve any entity under G-d's (dominion), whether angels, constellations or elements and anything composed of the elements, for all of these are governed by natural processes, and there is no justice nor choice except for that of G-d." By adding the word CHOICE, the Rambam states clearly that ascribing free choice to any entity other than G-d is contrary to monotheistic belief.  This was the mistake of the early idol-worshippers, who did not necessarily deny G-d's existence.   Though they acknowledged His Existence and Dominion, they believed that G-d had granted freedom of choice to the heavenly constellations-- which, in reality, are 'but the hammer in the craftsman's hand'.  As such, homage is due only to the 'Craftsman' and not to the hammer; to ascribe freedom of choice to the constellations and worship them in order to elicit blessing from them is  tantamount to full-fledged idol-worship. So why is ascribing free choice to man any less blasphemous than ascribing it to the stars???     If the Torah is so opposed to idol worship of any kind (even the more  sophisticated type) because, to the faithful, it is axiomatic to believe that "all of these are governed by natural processes, and there is no justice nor choice except for that of G-d", why is there not a similar reaction to saying that man has freedom of choice and movement?  How can there be anything (even man's choice) divorced from G-d's arena of power and direction?! SOLVING THE RIDDLE  This leads us to the inescapable conclusion that man's freedom of choice is not totally "free" and that, in the end, there is a G-dly providence even in man's free choice of good or evil in terms of its results!!! The reason why man is punished for choosing evil, for example, is that there are two separate elements at work: 1) man's decision and freedom to choose evil. 2) the situation that results from his choice, be it golus for the entire nation, or whatever tribulations and punishment for the individual (as a result of having chosen evil). Thus, though man has freedom to choose an (evil) course of action, against G-d's Will,  although G-d would rather the person chose good and refrained from evil,  nonetheless the result is still within G-d's plan of Creation, within the framework of Divine Detailed Providence, and is an area in which man's freedom of choice does not apply. In other words, a person may choose a course of action that will "put him in a pickle", however, there is a plan and design in that he should find himself in this pickle in ANY EVENT, regardless of the fact that it was his unapproved-by-G-d choice and action that led to this situation.  CURE FOR ALL PSYCHOLOGICAL AILMENTS   This is a very soothing approach which helps one to be contently resigned and accepting of whatever situation he finds himself in, REGARDLESS of whatever bad choices he thinks brought him there.  At any given point in one's life, one can literally pull himself up by his own boot straps, in the realization that G-d is pulling along with him and will certainly improve his situation. For, though being in a pickle is in itself an indication that G-d designed it for him to be in that situation (as explained above), nowhere does it state that the duration of the pickling-stage has to drag on and on.  Life is made of stages and cycles and it is up to us to "tracht gut, es vet zain gut-think good and it will be good", from any given point and forward, for this whole above-mentioned exposition works only in retrospect: no matter what the situation is, be it golus, divorce, sickness, abuse (physical, verbal, sexual) lack of nachas, disasters, war etc.., we Jews acknowledge the Hand of G-d even when we are culpable of having made bad choices.  But as far as looking ahead is concerned, we have utmost hope and confidence that ......  the end of evil and suffering will swiftly come to pass based on Likutey Sichos vol. 5 pp. 65-67, note 67

What Makes a Marriage Endure

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